Anglo Indian Matrimonial Match Hunting - FAQs. Strike Rate of less than 1% - akin to IIT Delhi Acceptance Rate!

 Match making is one of the most difficult and time consuming tasks undertaken by parents especially in a society where match making is predominantly a parent's job.  

The matter gets tricky and protracted due to the generation gap and changing values and priorities of the new generation in today's digital age and the mushrooming of commercial matrimonial websites whose primary aim is to make money out of the helpless and confused youngsters and old school parents who believe that the old model still holds good where parents propose and they themselves dispose or a model where parents call the shots.

The Anglo Indian community which is a micro-minority community spread across the globe finds it even more difficult with just a dozen of prospective brides on any given popular marriage sites.

Frequently Asked Questions - Match Hunting.

1.  How long does it take to find a match?

This can take anywhere from 3 months to 6 years, sometimes even more which is why most males are still unmarried at 38 or 40. Such people are entitled for a free upgrade on to the second marriage section in popular matrimonial websites.  The search time can vary depending on various factors like preferences of the bride, groom, parents, social status, financial status, family background, geographical preferences, and the like. 

2.   Why do people advertise on multiple websites or migrate from one site to another?

People do so to get more eyeballs or to improve their strike rate and increase their chances to get proposals faster from a wider choice. However research shows that most of the profiles on these sites overlap and does not guarantee a desired or improved strike rate, increased or desired outcome. This is a sheer waste of time and resources.

3.  Do people still advertise in the local daily newspapers these days?

Yes, very much. On a Sunday Christian matrimonial column there can be around 60 males and  20 females on an average which shows a ratio of only 1 female for every four males in the market. 

Majority of the local daily newspaper matrimonial advertisements are by those who already have a profile on multiple websites. It is a well known fact that these websites have miserably failed in providing timely promised services and majority customers interviewed are unhappy with these services which is why they advertise in local daily on Sundays.    

4. What is the strike rate of finding a dream life partner from within the Anglo Indian community?

Given the current size of the community, availability of partners looking to marry at a particular time, partner preferences, family status factors, the strike rate would be 1 in 100 searches, however, there is no absolute guarantee this 1% would culminate in a marriage given the very high uncertainty index of marriage culmination and the degree of negotiation involved. This gets complicated and murkier with the involvement of relatives and friends during the negotiation phase who come to the scene with their own ulterior jealousy motives. 

5. How difficult is it to find a partner if one of them lives overseas?

Match finding becomes tougher when one of the parties live abroad since in-person meeting becomes a barrier due to the various factors like time zone difference, cost involved in travelling for a meeting, lack of leave offered by companies in the era of hire and fire, economic uncertainties, Living abroad even for a short time results in a long distance relationship also increases the chance of divorce and absence of bonding between the parties which can also strain relationship between both families resulting in friction and legal battle. 

6. What are the consequences of finding a partner from abroad?

Consequences include long visa waiting time for countries like Canada, USA, Australia in light of the new world order in 2025. This has been increased to a minimum of one and a half years before one can join their spouse. Recent visa rejections, sudden changes in govt polices also complicate the matter resulting in stress, strain and uncertainty between parties and families.  

7.  Do arranged marriages work these days?

Arranged marriages which were traditionally arranged by parents do not work these days since the new generation youngsters hold the final veto unlike in the past where parents used to propose and dispose compared to the current parents propose children dispose. This is similar to the veto power of US in the United Nations. 

8.  How difficult is it to find a suitable match in the Anglo Indian Community?

Research shows that the strike rate to be not more than 1%.  The chances of getting an admission to IIT Delhi is 0.7% while the chances to get into AIIMS Delhi is 1% or lower. The chances of getting a seat in IIM Ahmedabad is 0.15%. To put this into perspective, find a life partner in the Anglo Indian community almost akin to getting accepted in one the top premier institutes in India.

9. What are the different jargons encountered in match finding?

Strike Rate: Chances of finding a partner from an advert or within a social group.

Socioeconomic Mismatch: This is one of the major barriers faced during match finding which includes one of the parties belonging to a different socioeconomic class. This mismatch makes it difficult or impossible to proceed further creating a deadlock. Examples include one of the parties belonging to a middle class, upper middle class, lower middle class, ancient aristocratic family, and so on.  This can cause difficulty in striking a deal between parties on different levels which can be a barrier to match fixing.

Moving Elevator Theory: The concept where families are on different socioeconomic level similar to the steps in a moving elevator. Some families tend to be on the lowest step while others are on different steps and ultimately one on the top most step on an elevator. The ones at the lower step is likely to catch up with those above eventually after marriage due to career advancement in their life. Examples include a mason's son marrying an engineer's daughter where later in life the couple moves ahead in the socioeconomic ladder in a short while. The offsprings of such a wedlock eventually moves one step ahead in the socioeconomic ladder. The cycle goes on and on.

Impulse Caller: A person who calls for the first time in response to a matrimonial advert.

Curious Angel: A person who responds to an advert to find out the details of the bride/groom with no intention to tie the knot anytime soon. They are trend watchers or data miners who are looking for a mate sometime later in life. 

First Time Caller: A person who calls for the first time in response to an advert. Such callers have very high expectations and demands with regard to specifications of their partners like skin color, qualifications, affluence, 

Medium Expectation Caller: One who calls for a match after a couple of attempts and has thereafter lowered their expectations having known the market trends and the acceptance rate. This happens after prolonged hunting in vain for a partner.

Low Expectation Caller: Such people are realistic and are willing to compromise on their demands and expectations having lost time and advancement in age after a couple of years of searching for a dream partner but in vain. 

10. What are the main reasons that hold back the new generation from marrying these days?

1.  Lack of stigma of the society to remaining single especially among women.

2.  Economic freedom, empowerment, financial independence  of women due to career and other opportunities compared to in the past.

3. Lack of incentive to have children, build a family, juggle a career and family.

4. Huge financial strain of building a home, educating children in a turbulent economic global scenario leading to job insecurity, and lack of financial security among others.

5. Huge advertising costs levied by marriage websites necessitating repeated renewals leading to financial loss and burden among match seekers. Confusion and misunderstanding among old school parents regarding where, when and how to search for suitable life partner.   

6. Difficulty in finding a suitable match due to different socioecomic status of the parties, difference in caste, sub caste, religious practices, and religious belief systems.

7. Different religious belief systems within the same religion that does not allow for people to marry from other religious denominations from the same religion. For instance, Latin Catholics do not prefer to marry non Latins due to fear from community members. Other subsects like Syrian Christians prefer to marry among the same sect. Orthodox and Jacobite Christians in spite of their legal battle for control of churches and cemeteries in Kerala, still continue to marry among themselves.  Anglo Indians who are willing to go out of their community and marry members belonging to other sects find themselves unaccepted by Orthodox, Jacobites, Syrians or even Latin Catholics in spite of sharing their own church with Latin. This is mainly due to the fear of being ostracized from their parent community and the lack of acceptance in the new community.

Leon

Email: leonmelan99@gmail.com 

Check out the below link on the Top 12 Reasons why marriages don't happen these days!

https://angloindianmatrimony.blogspot.com/2025/04/top-ten-reasons-why-marriages-dont.html